If you look back at many of posts, you probably think that I am single girl who goes to trips with only their family and close friends. The truth is?
I do have a boyfriend and I know I don’t mention him often but I wanted to address this ‘issue’ of traveling without your partner. Many people who personally know me know this man in my life, my boyfriend, my lover, and my best friend Dan. And I know it might seem that it’s uncommon for people to go to trips without their boyfriend or girlfriend but it’s actually a little common than it looks on the surface. This is for those who are on the same boat or are currently struggling with this and I am here and open to talk about this.
Dan and I have been together for 2 years and a couple months. To some, it might seem like it’s still fairly fresh and to others, it might seem like it’s been a while. How I feel about it is it has felt like forever. We know many things about each other and we are still discovering more things about each other as time passes by and one thing he knows about me is that I love traveling and always making plans to do something fun and exciting. One thing I really know about him is that he’s a hard worker and he truly cares about the things that matter to him.
I’ll be honest. We have never really took a vacation together yet and it has gotten harder to plan one when his schedule is always on the way or our schedules just conflict, which often happens. I have endlessly tried to get him to take a vacation with me but there’s always time in the way and his responsibilities. You see, we are different in some ways too. Those differences are some of the reasons why I am doing things in my life that don’t have him in the agenda.
He is the type of man who seeks and dreams for stability and he works hard for it. He is serious when it comes to that and he knows he has responsibilities he needs to obtain. He pays for his rent in his home while taking care of his family. He is that type of man whom you can see himself buying a house, providing for his future children, and having comfort in the simple things in life.
While I love being responsible too and serious when life needs me to be and I love finding comfort, for me, having plans to do things and see places that I’ve always dreamed about and seeking growth in anywhere I can find it are a part of me. I enjoy trying to live a life that I can always look back to because I have always had this fear of “what ifs?” Sometimes, I did wish I was just like Dan who was focused and okay with life back home. I don’t even know if he has the energy that I have of doing things and moving around a lot on foot or in road trips in one state. He’s already exhausted in life and I wouldn’t want to exhaust him more than he has to.
But don’t get me wrong. We do things together a lot locally. We have been to concerts, go to the city (we refer this to “New York City” from Jersey people) to meet up with friends, hit the beach together, go to parks and movie theaters and go out to eat a lot. Sometimes without all that, a simple night at home, cuddling, and watching a movie or silly YouTube videos together works. It’s these simple things at home that bring us together and we have a lot of trust in each other. He trusts me when I choose to go away on my breaks and I know that he sometimes dislikes the fact I am going away and creating memories elsewhere but he doesn’t ever hold me back.
That’s one of the real strengths of love. It’s going away but knowing that that person in your life will always be there when you come back. It’s also sacrifice, sacrificing the physical and emotional bond that you both as a couple have built over the years and letting it go temporarily to enjoy leisure time alone.
It’s also a strength that many couples don’t have by allowing each other for independence. I hate to rely on Dan for many things and I love being self-reliable and learning to be resourceful because that is what you need to learn to be as a person of your own. Being equal persons and not being co-dependent is healthy. Learning to stand your own ground and doing things that make you happy are fine in a relationship as long as your partner can be understanding and supportive.
Dan is supportive and loving and I always miss him no matter where I am and we are both used to the fact of not seeing each other for days because of schedule conflicts. It might not always be like this forever though and I hope one day, we will break away from our routines one day (well a couple days haha) and get to travel together because I love his company and would love to share many more memories with him.
So if you’re struggling with the same situation, allow yourself to travel without your partner. If you have friends and family to go with on your trips, it’s even better because it’s an opportunity for you to get closer to those who also matter in your life. Live your life the way it was meant to unravel and don’t feel like you can held back unless by circumstances. Believe love to strengthen between your relationship along with trust, commitment/loyalty, and communication. It won’t be long until you can get back loving your partner whole and making memories of your own together.