This blog post started off from just a short snippet of a caption I wrote for an Instagram post about how I learned to be more confident. I talk a lot about wellness-related topics sometimes on my blog and that content just absolutely won’t stop! I want to continue to inspire and empower people through the ways I’ve discovered worked for me while living out this complicated thing we call life.
I’ve been told by many people who personally speak to me or get to know me that I’m “confident” and that I’ve been able to achieve certain things in my life because I had the “confidence”. There’s really not much of a secret attached to why that is, but gaining confidence is really just about learning skills and mastering those skills. To be confident in life is always going to be an ongoing process that we have to continually work on, because certain things in our life will test us on how we can use our confidence. I wish I could also say that it comes with age and you just kind of stop caring less what others think over the years, but sometimes that’s not the case for some!
I’m a believer being more confident in life can reduce a lot of the stresses we deal with. Whether we want to work on our confidence to be more secured in our skin, to be able to speak without feelings of judgment, to have faith that things can work out, and that everything you do will be okay, these are all ways of how confidence can boost, not just our self-esteem, but often, our mindsets.
I’ve written out 4 simple powerful ways how we can achieve confidence and explained how to get in-depth with those ways.
1. Know who you are.
This may sound like such a powerful statement and do we really always get to know ourselves? Sometimes, it takes a lot from us to truly know who we are and often enough, as we grow in different stages of our lives, our minds may change on who we are and what we stand for. However, there’s something simply powerful in being assured of the roles we hold in our lives and what our own purpose is.
Some of the roles we hold could be, being that wonderful partner/lover, daughter, sister, friend, mother, mentor, etc. Being able to know what wonderful things we do to associate with those roles will enlighten us to know what impact we do have in others’ lives. As a Christian (LDS), I love to say that knowing I’m a child of God is an identity that I will always proudly go by, because it’s the truth – for all of us, and that makes me know how loved I simply am. (From God’s love that not anyone can ever reach up to!)
Knowing who you are is also knowing what core values you stand by, your beliefs, your tolerances for things, your hard efforts and accomplishments, and being able to accept your personality. You do not question the uniqueness you offer as a person and you just feel comforted in knowing NO ONE will ever be you!
Here are some ways on how to accept who you are:
- You practice self-care and self-love often. (You are kind and compassionate to yourself and talk yourself out of negative self-talk)
- Trusting in yourself, your abilities, and your knowledge!
- You don’t compare yourself to others.
- You admire your own strengths.
- Here are 10 smart habits to stay positive.
2. Do things that are out of your comfort zone.
This might be an obvious one. But it is SOOO true that doing things out of your comfort zone will take you a long way in building up your confidence. When you do things that are not typical of you, you may start to feel a sort of an accomplishment, and we know accomplishments are one way to boost ourselves.
With doing things outside of our comfort zone comes a sense of bravery within us. When we let go of self-doubts, we feel even more empowered in our capabilities. The more you get out of your comfort zone, the more comfortable you feel towards doing more than you thought you could do! It also produces the drive to go after this growth mindset.
3. Be willing to talk to all walks of life.
One thing that I love about traveling and what many people seem to eventually love about it too is we have access to meet people who lived different lives than us, who practice different traditions and are in different cultures, and/or who talk different than us. Talking to people who are completely different than you will not only make you learn so much about others, but you’re prone to accepting those who are not like you and your mind and perspectives will broaden.
Therefore, you will have confidence to be able to read people, be able to produce a lot of great conversations, and you will have greater understanding for people and places. When you meet and talk to all walks of life, you will learn stories that you’ve never heard and not only can you learn from them and possibly your own curiosities, but you will be able to make connections about the world too.
When you build up that excitement and not go against resistance to surround yourselves with new people, you may experience some culture shock or the feeling of getting out of your comfort zone. But, those challenging experiences will only build up your confidence (and even lessen your anxieties!) in certain new locations or new stages of your life – isn’t that so cool?!
It all just starts by a simple hello and following up questions about people. Be so interested in others and put forth those efforts to make the most of an interaction… you just never know if it’s a connection that will change your life (or career) for good.
Building up your confidence is also not being afraid to be outspoken and to share what you know. You know, I grew up as a shy timid quiet girl and I was deathly afraid to speak up to others and lacked skills to create conversations. That actually resulted in some traumatic bullying in school, but I’m a survivor and it made me who I am now: an outgoing confident go-getter who has so much compassion for others. Luckily, all that turned around as I surrounded myself with people who broke me out of my shell and accepted me for who I was before, time and time again.
It took years of practice of being able to speak (and speak up). I also learned how to control my emotions around others, often feeling like I was highly anxious for saying/doing certain stuff and often feeling disregarded because of my “fight-or-flight” mode that I’d turn on.
But that’s why emotional intelligence is such an important trait to have! You can practice emotional intelligence too when you follow #3. Be willing to talk to all walks of life. With emotional intelligence, you develop these 5 elements: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.
Sharing what you know is basically being sure of what you’re saying, which produces confidence. For example, I run this blog and I write a lot about various topics, including guides that tens-of-thousands of readers rely on for their own travels, and including this blog post of helping others to step into their power of confidence. I have to be confident about things I write about and be able to present what I wrote if I published these blog posts.
You should never hold yourself back of sharing what you know and even what you believe, whether someone wants to hear it or not. It produces an effect that people will respect you for voicing what you do know! When you feel respected, you definitely will feel more confident in yourself.
Have you used some of these simple powerful ways to help you step into the power of confidence? I know by repeating these 4 ways in my life, it’s really allowed me to find self-love and be reassured in my decisions and choices.